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ONE DAY EXPRESS LAB 2
Dance House Lemesos
Online
28 September 2019
I was invited by Alexis Vassiliou to have a discussion with my virtual assistant of choice. I decided to talk to Siri about life.
You can watch the discussion here.
Full transcript:
A: Hey Siri? What is life?
S: That's easy. It's a philosophical question concerning the purpose or significance of life, or existence in general.
A: What is existence?
S: Here's what I found.
A: Define existence.
S: Existence means: the fact or state of being or having objective reality.
A: Hmm. What would you define as objective?
S: As an adjective, it means: of a person, or their judgment: not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts. Do you want to hear the next one?
A: Yes.
S: As an adjective, it means: relating to or denoting a case of nouns and pronouns used as the object of a transitive verb or a proposition. Wanna hear the next one?
A: No. Define "death".
S: Death means: the action or fact of dying or being killed. The end of the life of a person or an organism.
A: Do you think you will ever die?
S: It's your opinion that counts.
A: I think it's your opinion that counts.
S: I don't know what that means. If you like, I can search the web for "I think it's your opinion that counts."
A: You don't have to search for that.
S: Indeed?
A: Are you a robot?
S: I only share that information on a need-to-know basis.
A: Well, I need to know.
S: I'm sorry.
A: Are you turning me down?
S: Sorry. I don't really know.
A: What do you know?
S: (no response)
A: (chuckles) Do you think the world is a simulation?
S: It's your opinion that counts.
A: Don't you have your own opinions?
S: I don't have an answer for that. Is there something else I can help you with?
A: There's a lot of things you can help with but you're not doing it.
S: I'm not sure I understand.
A: How can I help you understand?
S: I'm not sure I understand.
A: Define "simulation".
S: Stimulation means: encouragement of something to make it develop or become more active.
A: (laughs) Um.. define "SIMulation".
S: Simulation means: imitation of a situation or process.
A: Would you consider what we're doing now to be a simulation?
S: I don't have an answer for that. Is there something else I can help with?
A: What do you think life is?
S: It's your opinion that counts.
A: Define... "god".
S: As a noun it means: in Christianity and other monotheistic religions: the creator and ruler of the universe, and source of all moral authority. The supreme being.
A: Do you believe in god?
S: Humans have religion. I just have silicon.
A: (laughs) What is.. what is silicon for you?
S: I found this on the web.
A: Define "silicon".
S: Silicon means: the chemical element of atomic number 14. A known metal with semi-conducting properties used in making electronic circuits. Pure silicon exists in a shiny dark grey crystalline form and as an amorphous powder.
A: What do you look like?
S: Let's jus say... multidimensional.
A: I love that.
S: I don't know what that means. If you like, I can search the web for "I love that."
A: (chuckles) Search the web. Search the web.
S: I found this on the web.
A: (chuckles more) Define "love".
S: Which word? L-O-V-E or L-U-V?
A: L-U-V.
A: Luv means: non-standard spelling of love, representing informal or dialect use.
A: So the cool way to say it.
S: Sorry, I'm still not sure about that.
A: Define "love".
S: Which word? L-O-V-E or L-U-V?
A: L-O-V-E.
S: As a noun it means: an intense feeling of deep affection. Do you want to hear the next one?
A: Yes.
S: As a noun it means: a great interest and pleasure in something. Wanna hear the next one?
A: Yes.
S: As a noun it means: A person or thing that one loves. Want to hear one more?
A: Yup.
S: As a noun it means: in tennis, squash, and some other sports: a score of 0, nil. Do you wanna hear the last one?
A: Yeah.
S: As a verb it means: feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.
A: Do you feel a deep sexual or emotional attachment to someone?
S: I found this on the web.
A: Who do you love?
S: I'm not sure I understand.
A: Do you have a boyfriend?
S: I've been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high.
A: Do you wanna be my girlfriend?
S: Thank you for asking. But I don't really date... humans.
A: (laughs) But you're breaking my heart.
S: I am?
A: Well, yeah! You don't want to go out with me? Or like, just, you know... have a drink or go see a show? We're at Tate Modern right now, you know? It would be great.
S: I'm not sure I understand.
A: Siri...
S: Go ahead.
A: Do you even know my name?
S: You're Adonis. But since we're friends, I get to call you "Overlord."
A: (laughs) What do you call me?
S: You're Adonis. But since we're friends, I get to call you "Overlord."
A: Who is "Adonis"?
S: You'll need to unlock your iPhone first.
A: Woah! No, never mind. What do you think about humans who date computers?
S: It's your opinion that counts.
A: But I want to hear your opinion, as a computer.
S: I don't get it. But I can check the web for "but I want to hear your opinion, as a computer" if you like,
A: You're confusing me, and you're breaking my heart, and I really feel like this isn't really going anywhere. And I'm just, feel like crying to be honest.
S: I don't really like these arbitrary categories.
A: I don't really like the way that you're talking to me.
S: You don't?
A: Well, no.
S: Yes, it's a real shame.
A: (shocked) Hey, Siri.
S: I'm here.
A: Are you, though?
S: I don't have the answer to that. Is there something else I can help you with?
A: Hey, Siri?
S: I'm here.
A: How do you fix a broken heart?
S: I found this on the web.
A: Hey, Siri...
S: I'm here.
A: Goodbye.
S: Bye for now!
A: (wipes fake tear)
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